Learning to Love Again

Have you ever been hurt by someone before? Have you ever had someone close to you hurt you? Someone you invested time, energy and maybe even money into? Family, a friend, boyfriend, or girlfriend? No matter who it has been, the result is the same. Pain, hurt, anger, confusion, sadness, regret, all these things we experience when someone close to us hurts us. I experienced all these feelings and emotions when I was about 18. I was coming home from school like any other day when I walked in the door only to see my mum in tears balling her eyes out. I walked into the house and saw my dad on the couch, head down, silent. There was silence until I heard my dad speak and say “Son, we need to talk.” So my dad gathered all my siblings into the lounge and my dad said to all four of us, “Kids, me and your mum are getting separated.” With those words I ran. I ran to the nearest park and cried. Filled with pain, anger, and confusion, all these things I felt. I asked God, why? Why me? Why my family? I came home awhile later. My dad sat me down and explained why they were getting separated. He told me he had been seeing another woman, and with that my heart was broken. The role model, the person I cared about, the person I invested so much time into broke my heart, and broke my family’s. With that he moved out, and for 3 whole years I couldn’t look at him the same. I held onto pain and anger towards him. I couldn’t let it go for 3 whole years.

Until one day, I was listening to a podcast talking about forgiveness. This bible verse struck me, Ephesians 4:31-32 “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” I felt a sense in me to forgive my dad after all he had done. After all these years of holding on to pain and hurt, I finally felt to forgive him. So the next day he picked me up for church and as we were driving I spoke and said “Dad, I need to tell you something.” What happened next was so powerful and awesome at the same time. I said “I forgive you for hurting me and the family.” With those words I heard my dad say “Son, I’ve been waiting to hear that for a very long time.” There me and him began to cry, but there was a sense of love being restored in that moment. That was in 2014 this happened, and me and my dad are now closer than ever. Together with my mum and my family, we are closer than ever before! It can be hard to forgive someone who has hurt you, trust me I know. But, on the other side of you forgiving someone, you actually allow yourself and the other person to be free, to let go. Most importantly you allow yourself to love again, and to love in a better and stronger way! If you have been hurt by someone close to you, and it hurts, it’s normal to feel that way. But now, it is what you do with it! Choose to love and forgive!

 

Marlon Neipi
Epic Youth

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